Monday, 18 April 2016

the foolishnesh of me. my life story . part -2

in part 2, i will talk about some very tragic moment of my life. meanwhile sorry if i do any mistake in english.
during my 18s, i took admission in a college. that time i was a person with sole foolishness, better if it would be called gullible-ness or total innocent-ness. that time i was suffering from night-falls. why? because i was not doing any kind of sexual act like masturbation. sex is something natural and when you try to avoid it, you may start suffering from things like that. i had very less knowledge about sex that time. because of night-falls i started fearing that if this thing continues i will become impotent one day. since all of the semen which is inside my body will come to an end one day, like that.

that time i had a friend in my college. he didn't had any bike those days. so i start giving lift to him in my bike. i gave him lift for many months. he become closer to my heart. i started treating him as my brother. one day i discussed my problem of nightfall with him. and i asked for 250 indian rupees to him. (note: 250 indian rupees was the fees of doctor for treatment) (all these things are 10 year old incidences). that time i used to get around 50 indian rupees for my breakfast ( or lunch) during college recess. i never discussed my problem with my parents due to that fact that initially they will think that i am a bad person and because of my bad habits i am trapped with the problem of night-falls. my friend whom i asked for 250 rupees said that he will give me within 2-4 days. after 2-4 days i got the same reply from him. whenever the time come to take money from him, i always get some excuses from him. you won't believe in me, but its true that 6 months passed. but he never borrowed that much rupees to me.

the money i used to get from my father always gets spend in breakfast etc. i though that i will take some money from my friend as loan and will repent him somehow. that time i never ever thought that some person can be so so much selfish that he will enjoy the free lift (in bike) from me for months, but will never ever help me... i never had thought that such selfish persons can exists.

he was a friend of mine for almost 2 years. and believe me in these 2 years whatever things i saw in his nature (innate-nature) tought me the most most bitter lesson of my life.

i have few thoughts now. actually these thoughts are my firm opinions now....
1. just like a positive charge attracts the negative charge, same is in this universe, the more gulliable you are the more you are likely to find a cheater. they are like negative charges, they will come in your life, they will fool you. and all you can do is to cry.. cry on your fate. but you know what? fate is written by the so called all powerful god. and it is fixed.. he is not and never going to change it..

lets ask a simple question to the god...
1. oh god why, why the hell you made a universe in which you make gulliable persons in your image, and then send cruel peoples to take advantage of those gulliable persons...why always good peoples suffer...why not we see those criminals suffering? are they dear to you? are they like you? are you like them? (cruel and asshole?)